Heartbreak Warfare
by A lesson before dying
Summary: A girl who hates imprinting, due to her new 'ex-girlfriend' status, discovers firsthand just how unexpected imprinting can be.
1. If I Ever Feel Better

**I've had this rolling around in my head for a while, keeping me from my other story, so I just decided to write it out. My main focus right now is 'A Place of Healing' but hopefully I will be able to update both in time.**

**I also want to make something clear. This is _not_ a Paul love story. Sorry if that disappoints you. There will be a Quileute involved though. :)**

**The title of this chapter is from 'If I Ever Feel Better' by Phoenix and the title of the story is from John Mayer's song Heartbreak Warfare. **

**I do not own anything from Stephanie Meyer's series. I only own the plot and my original characters. :)**

**Chapter 1**

I felt as if the ground had shattered underneath me at the moment I saw it- the look in his eyes. Five minutes ago we were making out in his truck and now he couldn't even look at me. I knew that face. I'd seen it on multiple others before him, but I still couldn't really believe I was seeing it on him right _now_. It had to be now. Just after he'd told me he loved me. I couldn't focus on the way the wind blew over my skin, giving me goosebumps. I was only aware of the tears filling my eyes, making my vision cloudy. I was only feeling overwhelming grief. My hands and feet moved on their own accord, opening the car door and walking away from him. Would he even notice? She was all he could look at now. She was all he would ever look at from now on.

My heart felt like it was literally going to rip out of my chest. I'd never felt such pain before. We knew this day could come but we'd tricked ourselves into thinking it never would. All of a sudden I felt so naive. It was like I'd matured years and it'd only been ten minutes since we saw her. He was dropping me off at Forks' Hospital so I could shadow some nurses. She was in the parking lot, getting out of her car. He'd barely glanced at her, but that was enough. She was his imprint and I was his ex-girlfriend as of just now. He parked the car, and I watched his chest rise and fall. His breaths were deep and his eyes dark. He had glanced at my face once and I saw it. He was terrified of what I'd do. He knew me. I'd wanted to scream and hit him. I'd wanted to beg him to forget what he'd just seen. I had thought he was the _one._ He couldn't be the one because I wasn't his imprint.

I hated that word. I hated La Push and their wolves. I hated that they were so lucky they knew who their soul mates were. I hated it because I thought I could change it- _we _thought we could change it. We were so wrong.

I started running at some point, just wanting to get away from him. I never wanted to see his face again. I knew what it would hold. He would pity me. He would pity our relationship. I couldn't see it. I _wouldn't_ see it. The tears had blurred my vision and I was surprised I hadn't run into anything yet. I could feel the ground shaking a bit and I knew one of them was following me. No doubt _he _had phased at some point and they'd all seen what had happened. It was humiliating.

I didn't want to stop running. I couldn't stop.

Sobs were pressing my chest, begging to escape. My teeth were digging into my bottom lip to keep them from bursting out. My legs had gone numb since I got out of the car. My whole body was numb except for my chest. I wanted to fall into a coma, just so I wouldn't feel my heart any longer.

I knew I was acting like a child somewhat. I was twenty years old. I couldn't run away from my problems forever. But I couldn't just stand there and watch the supposed love of my life stare at another woman the way he looked at me minutes prior. It was _too _hard.

Finally my legs gave up on me and I stopped abruptly. I blinked rapidly to discover I was at my house, about two miles from the hospital. I had my bag slung over my shoulder still. Thankfully it hadn't fallen off because I probably wouldn't have noticed.

I tried to ignore the building storm in my chest and throat as I trudged up the front porch steps and swung the door open.

My mom was standing there, cleaning the living room when I walked in. She smiled until she saw the look on my face. The duster dropped from her hands as she rushed to me and grabbed my bag off my shoulder.

"What's wrong baby?" She crooned, her eyes full of worry. I wondered vaguely what I looked like from someone else's viewpoint right now.

I couldn't speak to her. My lip was starting to tremble and I didn't want to crumble in front of her. Her hands touched my face and I dropped my eyes to the floor, falling into her open arms. That's when I started to sob. I barely heard my mom's gasp as I succumbed to the darkness inside me.

I don't remember much after that until two days later.

My mom had called the hospital and let them know I wasn't feeling well. At least one thing was taken care of.

I knew my mom didn't fully understand what had happened. I couldn't really explain through my sobbing and near comatose-like state. But she knew it had something to do with him. She'd somehow managed to keep my dad from going over to him and demanding to know what had happened. I didn't know if I was thankful or disappointed. I know it wasn't completely his fault, but I somewhat wanted him to feel the same pain that I did.

He never called the house.

I never even got an "I'm so sorry I ripped your heart out like I promised I wouldn't". I didn't even get an "I'm sorry".

I'd been awake laying in bed for about an hour before I heard footsteps nearing my room. I winced at the sound and rolled over to face the wall. I didn't want to see anyone.

"Elena?" I sniffled in response. If I was going to see anyone I was glad it was Alice. I felt her stone cold hands on my shoulder, pulling me gently to face her. Right on cue, my lip started to tremble again. She pulled me into a hug and even though she wasn't soft at all, I was comfortable.

"He imprinted, Alice. How could I have been so stupid?" I had been asking myself the same question ever since it happened. Why did I have to be so freaking happy up until this point? Why couldn't I have told myself to ignore the cute boy who flirted way too much? Why did I have to give in so easily?

"You're not stupid, sweet. It was improbable that it would happen. How many new people come to Forks or La Push?" Alice's melodic voice drifted into my ears and I knew she was just trying to make me feel better. Everyone had warned us about what _could_ happen. But why couldn't it happen to a wolf who didn't have a girlfriend?

"I just feel like an idiot." I mumbled, wiping at my tears.

"Bella wanted to come, but you know she's not very good in these kind of situations." Alice said softly, trying to gauge a smile from me. I snorted in response, nodding my head. Bella was the most awkward vampire I'd ever come across and I'd met a fair few.

I was never supposed to even know about imprinting or wolves or vampires. Unfortunately _he_ became my best friend and we couldn't lie to each other. He'd introduced me to the Quileutes and the Cullen clan and I'd fallen in love with all of them. I'd felt like part of a big family. Now I wouldn't be welcome.

With that thought, another round of tears came.

"I won't be able to see you anymore, Alice." I bawled. I sounded ridiculous even to my own ears. Alice's small, sad laugh made me look up at her briefly. My hands were covering most of my face as I peeked at her. She shook her head at me.

"We'll still see you, silly girl. We're friends and that doesn't change because of a mutt." Alice made a face at me and I sniffled, nodding. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop myself from thinking about him.

"How is he?" I asked softly, dropping my eyes back to the bed. I felt her stiffen a bit and I prepared myself for more emotional damage.

"Are you sure you want to talk about him?" She asked gently and I shrugged my shoulders. I really didn't know what I was able to talk about. Alice sighed, sitting on top of the covers beside me, one of her little arms on top of my shoulders.

"He's upset. He's worried about you and wants to talk to you." I thought I heard Alice growl a bit before she continued. "But, I think it's best he keeps his distance for a while.. don't you?" I nodded a bit in response. Honestly, I wanted him to come over and hold me and tell me it was all a dream.

Alice sighed again before murmuring, "You can't change an imprint..".

We fell into silence after that. I knew she was right.

"What do I do now, Alice?" I asked, breaking the silence spell. I felt her shift beside me, and felt her eyes on the side of my face.

"What do you mean what do you do? You do what you've always done.. just.. without him."

"I mean how can I keep living here? Everything I do will remind me of him. It's so hard just being in my bed."

"It's all fresh right now, Elena. You'll be okay eventually. I know you will." That made me feel a bit better. Alice's foresight came in handy nearly all the time. I just wish she'd foreseen this. Alice wasn't able to have her "premonitions" when the Quileutes were involved.

"When will I feel better?" I asked. I knew I was whining a bit, but in my case I felt like I somewhat deserved it. I hadn't lashed out at anyone yet and that had to mean something.

Alice smiled at me in response and squeezed my shoulder lightly. "Eventually."

Alice stayed with me a couple more hours before I released her. I knew she'd want to get back to Jasper, her husband, and the rest of her vampire clan. She'd made sure to tell me to come visit whenever I felt like the pain was too much. Jasper had a way with emotions and he had offered to soothe me a bit. Unfortunately I wasn't ready to be around to many people yet.

It was too soon.

The next day I ventured downstairs for lunch. My mom then smothered me with maternal care, so I decided to hang out in my room for the rest of the day.

On Day Six I was going downstairs regularly for meals and to help my mom around the house. I still didn't talk much unless it was on the phone to Alice and sometimes Bella. I missed them, but I was scared of going out of the house. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew.

On Day Ten I charged my cell phone that had died on the day he imprinted. I had so many text messages and voice mails I didn't know what to do. So I made Alice come over and listen to them for me. I didn't want to hear his voice. She relayed every voice mail to me; he hadn't left one. Later that night I read my twenty-four text messages.

Text message number twenty-three nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. Only six words and yet I felt like I would pass out.

"Please call me. I miss you."

He sent me a text message. The one person I'd been nearly killing myself over for the past week and a half. I stared at my phone's vibrant screen, debating on what to do. I really just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry some more. But then again, I wanted to get angry. He'd sent me a lousy text message instead of calling me hundreds of times or trying to come and see me. One text message for the two years we'd dated.

My finger pressed "call" before my brain realized what was going on. I stared blankly down at my phone, reading the two little words "Calling Paul....".

* * *

**I hope you like it. Drop a review if you want. **

**-A Lesson Before Dying**


	2. You're Not Sorry

So here's another chapter. :) Sorry that these aren't coming out very constantly. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

For those of you wondering where this is going- I want to say just wait and see, ;) but I will tell you that this is a romance story. It's not going to involve Paul in the long run. Things will become clear in the next couple chapters I hope. If I told you where it was going, you wouldn't have to read it.

**Chapter Two**

"Calling Paul...."

Suddenly, as I re-read the words for the second time, I panicked. My hands flexed and my phone flew out of them onto the foot of the bed.

"Shit!" I scrambled, tangled in my covers, for a moment before falling on top of my phone. My fingers whacked my phone, hoping to hit the end key, when I heard it.

"Elena?" His voice was frantic and loud. I slammed my index finger onto the red button and watched, satisfied, as the screen with his face on it faded away to my normal background of white flowers. White flowers that I had begged him to take a picture of me with. I nearly growled as I opened up my settings folder and changed the background to the default blue color.

Now that there was silence and my background wouldn't remind me of him, I let myself breathe deeply. I had heard his voice and hadn't fainted. That was a good sign, right?

My eyes traveled from the phone to my window. The view wasn't much out of this one. I could only see the street and the front of my neighbor's house. There was another window in my small bedroom, and if you looked out of it you would see the forest. Honestly, sometimes at night it scared me so I made sure to put my bed near the other window.

I hadn't always lived in Forks, Washington. My parents moved out here the summer after I graduated high school. We used to live in Texas, then when I was in elementary school we moved to Seattle. After that, my parents decided to somewhat retire, so they came to Forks. My dad runs a little restaurant in the town's center and my mom does a little of everything. She's a substitute teacher; she helps my dad in the restaurant; and she volunteers. She loves this little town, even though it rains everyday.

I, on the other hand, hated it when my parents told me what would be happening after graduation. I couldn't wait to go to college and never come back to little ol' Forks. Then I met Paul. Paul was the light of my summer. He introduced me to everyone in Forks and La Push who were worth being introduced to. We fell in love so easily that summer. At the time it felt like a dream. I couldn't understand how our relationship could be real.

At the end of the summer, I had to go to school in Seattle. A lot of my friends from high school would be there and at first I was excited to go back to the city I loved so much. After meeting Paul, I had begun to dread the trip back.

The night before I left, Paul told me all the legends I'd heard about the Quileutes were true. Technically he had been under orders from Sam not to tell their secrets. I'd figured it out pretty easily after he gave me a couple hints. Sam was mad at first, but he got over it eventually.

After getting over the shock that my boyfriend was indeed a wolf shape-shifter, the trip back to college wasn't so bad. Paul came and visited me when I couldn't come home on the weekends. I was taking nursing classes just like I'd always wanted and school was going well for me.

Last summer when I'd come home, Paul introduced me to the Cullens. My first real meeting with vampires. He'd been nervous about it at first, not knowing if I'd be frightened of them or not. At the time, I didn't know either. I couldn't fathom what a vampire would even look like.

Alice and I became friends almost right away. Her personality made it so easy to fall in love with her. When she found out I had a passion for fashion, almost as much as she, we became fast friends. I had nearly forgotten she was even a vampire.

Bella, Edward, and their daughter Renesmee were a little harder to get close to. They tended to stick to themselves, being the quieter vampires of the clan. One day, Alice took Bella and I for a shopping trip in Port Angeles. As Alice raced through the stores, Bella and I made ourselves comfortable in a little book store. We talked about all kinds of books and from then on an easy friendship was made.

Paul had gotten frustrated at Alice because she tended to monopolize me for days at a time. She always had room in her schedule for humans due to her lack of sleeping. She could spend all night with Jasper and the other vampires, and then hang out with me all day and never hurt anyone's feelings- except for Paul's'.

Once I had to go back to college again, it became even harder to leave. But school awaited me and I was somewhat anxious to go back to class. The past school year had flown by and I'd been so excited to come home to my parents, Paul, and my friends.

Everything had been normal up until the past week.

My reminiscing was interrupted by a loud noise. I jolted out of my curled up position and looked down at the offending object.

"It's just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.." My ringtone blared from my phone. I could feel my jaw drop as I saw Paul's face on my phone's screen. He was calling me.

"Calm down, Elena. It doesn't mean anything." I told myself, my whole body shaking in anticipation. I wasn't sure if I should pick up or not. But then again, I did call him first. But I also hung up on him. I didn't know if this gave me the right to purposefully not answer him. Finally, after I felt like the phone had been ringing forever- I pressed the green, answer button. Half of me hoped he would hang up right as I answered.

"Lena?" My heart pounded in my chest as anxiety rippled through my stomach.

"Paul?" My voice sounded a lot stronger than I felt. For that, I was glad.

"Lena...you answered." I wanted to roll my eyes at his bluntness. Under normal circumstanced, if I was just mad at him I probably wouldn't have answered.

"I did. But I don't think I should stay on the phone any longer." I spit out. His voice was killing me.

"Please! Wait, Lena. Can I come talk to you? Please, I won't let you end this." His words physically startled me. What did he mean 'let you end this', like I was the one ending things? He _imprinted_. That is the end of things.

"What are you talking about, Paul?" My voice weakened with every other word I said.

"I know.. what happened is bad, Lena. But come on, we're best friends, right? This isn't the end for us. Please, I miss you so much."

The words he said had to be a fabrication. Someone was playing a twisted joke on me. I shook my head, not caring that he couldn't see me or tell what I was doing. I wouldn't let this happen.

"No, Paul. You don't get it. I can't be in your life anymore. It hurts too much already and I haven't even seen you." Tears were clouding my vision as I waited for his next words. I knew that this could be the last time I heard him speak.

"Elena." He sounded devastated but I couldn't fathom why. He had his imprint to take up all his time, why was he doing this to me?

"What, Paul? What? You haven't even tried to apologize or say anything to me before now. So _what_ is so important right now?" I wanted to scream at him, and I was having a hard time not doing it. My voice was low and angry.

"Of course I've tried to apologize! I just didn't want to do it over the phone! God, you have like a force field around you right now. No one will let me come see you." He was getting angry now too. His voice sounded gruff and familiar.

I would be the first one to admit that our relationship wasn't perfect. We argued more than most people. But unlike most people, we didn't hold it against each other. Paul and I were stubborn people, of course we're going to butt heads. But after all was said and done, neither of us cared who was right or wrong. That was how we worked. That was how love worked. Or so I thought.

"Well..." I was at a loss for words. A tiny bit of my insides warmed at the thought of all the people keeping him away from me. They had my best interests at heart.

"Paul." I was about to talk to him about my least favorite topic. "You have an imprint now."

We were silent for a couple moments. Tears dripped from my eyes, down my cheeks, and fell onto my comforter.

"Elena, I know. I'm so sorry." His voice broke and we were silent once more.

"Please don't cry." He whispered and I shook my head as even more tears came despite his plea.

For the two years or so that we'd dated, Paul had never made me cry. Sure we'd yelled and I'd gotten red in the face from frustration. But I had never once shed a tear over him. I let my hand rest over my eyes, feeling the wetness seep onto my fingers.

"I think I need to go Paul. I don't know what you tried to accomplish just now." I tried to keep the tears from interfering with my voice, but it was obvious due to my sniffles.

"Lena. You're my best friend. I just.. you know I love you-" I hung up the phone before he could say anymore hurtful things.

I'd never heard Paul sound so sad and that scared me. He's a man's man, never showing intense emotions unless he really needs to. The fact that he sounded so upset on the phone and was even pleading with me reminded me that this wasn't really his fault.

Yes, I could be mad at him for loving me in the first place. For picking on me that one day when we ran into each other at the hardware store. I could hate him for knowing that he could hurt me this way the whole time we dated.

But then I would've missed out on the past two wonderful years. Even though I felt like my body was literally about to break in two, I wouldn't want to rewind and delete Paul from the past two years.

With this small revelation, I laid back in my bed and let my tears consume me.

Alice had told me that eventually I would be feeling better. I couldn't imagine not feeling this uncontrollable pain, but at least I knew that I would at some point.

My mind couldn't help but go over the things that Paul had said over our brief phone conversation. He didn't want _me_ to end this. It sounded like he was still trying to be with me, but in reality he couldn't be. Alice's words ghosted through my head, "You can't change an imprint.".

He said he loved me. I let the tears flow as I wiped at my runny nose. He loved me, still? Did that mean that he loved me as a friend, or still more? Once again, that had to be impossible. After all I've seen and heard about imprints, I knew that the wolves were obsessed with them, especially right at first.

I pushed my face into my pillow, letting the cloth take in my tears. Of course Paul would make everything more complicated when he should have just apologized.

My eyes began to grow sore from crying as I shifted onto my side, staring at the wall. I had the overwhelming urge to get out of this bed, this house, and this town. I wanted to go back to Seattle- to my apartment. I would be able to do things without constantly thinking about Paul.

Feeling my tears begin to subside, I let myself fall into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning I heard my door creak open, and light spilled into the room from the hallway. I groaned, rolling over to avoid the light shining in my eyes.

"Lena?" My mom's quiet voice drifted to my ears. I was so tired that it sounded more like nails going through a garbage disposal. I made a grunt of disapproval as I felt her hand touch my shoulder. I knew she was smiling as she shook my shoulder a little bit.

"Lena it's time to get up. You're not in college right now, so I can wake you up whenever I want." I groaned louder, smiling slightly for the first time since the imprint fiasco.

"Fine, fine. Why are you waking me up at-" I glanced at the clock next to my bed, "nine-thirty in the morning.". I groaned again after seeing how early it was.

"You're going to run errands with me today. No more sulking." She gave me another little shove to make sure I was fully awake. I sighed deeply and then rolled over and out of bed to get dressed.

I hadn't actually put thought into getting dressed for quite some time now. All of my clothes were clean and I still couldn't decide what to wear. I felt as if I should wear something different, since I felt like a different person. I decided finally on jean shorts and a white tunic with blue stitching. I heard my mom call for me again and I pulled on some of my red, lace-up vans.

I grabbed my purse off my chair and headed down the hall and down the stairs. She was waiting by the front porch for me once I got there.

"So where are we headed?" I asked as she unlocked the car doors and I jumped in. I hadn't been out in the fresh air for so long- I hoped it would do me some good.

My mom drove us to the town center so we could go to the grocery store and run by dad's restaurant to get breakfast for me. I felt a little nervous about running in to people that I knew. However, I had a feeling that since it was so early I probably wouldn't see anyone my age.

My dad's restaurant was called 'Maia's', named after my mother. He used to run restaurants all over Seattle, but mom had wanted to live in a small town. So when we moved here, he was bored and decided to open a restaurant once more. It was just what Forks needed- a little variety.

"Well if it isn't my favorite girls." I smiled as I shut the car door. My dad was standing out front, arms crossed over his chest. He was still a handsome man at 50 years of age. He was tall and lean, dark hair with just a few grays. I watched as my mom walked forward and kissed him on the cheek. They were still as in love as ever. My mom looked the part of the perfect little housewife, always perfectly put together. But she was as normal as the rest of us.

"Hi Daddy." I gave him a one-armed hug as we stepped inside the restaurant. It was pretty busy for an early morning in Forks.

"Going to have the usual for breakfast?" Dad asked, heading towards the kitchens. We both nodded in assent and he disappeared through the back to get our orders.

My mom and I made small talk until our food came. I greedily dug into my eggs and pancakes. I hadn't eaten much in the past week. We fell into silence until my dad walked over and sat down next to my mom. I could feel his eyes sweeping over me and I felt ashamed. I never thought I'd the girl who let her boyfriend get the best of her.

"So.. how's everything?" I asked before he could ask me how I was. I didn't want to lie to him and tell him that I was fine.

"Good, good. Business is great for this small town." Dad loved Forks and all the people around here. He enjoyed the relaxed business hours and there was never a huge rush of customers. It was never about the money for my father, just the satisfaction of serving good food to good people.

"Great." I murmured, stuffing my mouth with syrupy pancakes.

My parents began to talk of mundane things and I let my mind wander. I was so glad to be out of the house. I zoned back in to the conversation and realized my parents were both staring at me.

"What?" I asked, snapping back to reality.

"Do you know that boy? He's staring very intently at you." My mom said, shifting her head to the side and looking past me. I turned my head slightly and looked behind me. I didn't see anyone staring at me. I glanced back at my mom with a weird expression. She shrugged her shoulders and continued conversation with my dad. I glanced back again, but still didn't see anyone.

But strangely enough, after that I continued to feel like someone was watching me.

* * *

Review please. :)

-A Lesson Before Dying


	3. Possibility

This is kind of a continuation of the last chapter. I wasn't ready to stop writing. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter. You'll find out who the boy staring at her is in the next few chapters. I'm glad y'all are taking an interest in this story.

**Chapter 3**

My mom and I left my dad at the restaurant after chatting a bit longer. As soon as we got back in the car, I felt relaxed again. I was sure I was probably being paranoid due to my current emotional state.

For the next couple of hours my mom and I ran errands all around town. We had to go pick up some wire from the hardware store for dad; we had to go to the local florist so my mom could get a new centerpiece for the dinner table; and we had to go to the grocery store to re-stock our fridge. Of course every stop took at least forty-five minutes. My mother has a lot of friends in town and she loves to talk to them all.

"Hello Elena. How are you?" I forced a smile to the small woman beside my mother. They'd been chatting for the past twenty minutes about tomatoes and how well they grew here in Forks.

"I'm fine. How are you, Ms. Speare?" I managed to sound polite, even though I was getting cranky.

"Oh just fine. Your daughter is growing up so fast." Just like that the conversation went back to my mother. I sighed quietly and meandered down one of the aisles. My head hurt from crying so much the past few days. I needed more sleep.

My phone buzzed in my purse and I pulled it out jerkily. I couldn't help but wonder if it was Paul. It wasn't.

_From: Alice_

_I'm glad you're getting out of the house, lazy girl. That's step one! The next step is a shopping trip with yours truly. Don't worry, it'll make you feel all better. I promise! I'll pick you up at 2:00!_

My eyes widened as I read the message. Checking the clock, I realized that it was already 1:30. Where had the time gone? As much as I would rather just go lay back in my bed and weep, a shopping trip did sound good. I hadn't been shopping since I was home.

I headed back over to my mom who was still engaged in conversation. She glanced up at me, recognized the face I was giving her, and hurriedly finished up their gossip session. We walked to the cashier and I waited patiently for all of the things to be scanned before I started stuffing them into bags. The cashiers in Forks always seemed to go as slow as possible, so I liked to help make things move faster.

"Why are you in such a rush?" My mom asked, watching me load our basket with bags. She was giving me a tilted smirk and I could tell she knew I wanted something.

"I know we were supposed to do stuff all day, but Alice just texted me and-" She raised her hand to stop my rushed talking.

"It's fine, honey. I was just trying to get you out of the house. As long as she keeps you busy, you can go or do whatever." We both smiled at each other as we walked out of the grocery store. I was amazed sometimes at how lucky I got with my parents. They really did a good job when it came to parenting and knowing what I needed, even if I didn't like it at the time.

"I love you, mom." I said after putting the groceries in the back of the car. She grinned at me, patting my cheek affectionately.

"I love you too. Now, let's get you home so you can go shopping with Alice." I gave her a mock frown as I leaned back in my seat.

"Why'd you assume we were going shopping?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you doing something else?" She glanced quickly at me, surprise evident on her face.

I pouted.

"No, that's what we're doing." She chuckled at my displeased face.

"Sorry, honey. But that's you and Alice's specialty. Everyone knows that." I rolled my eyes even though I knew she was right.

I saw Alice's car outside our house as we pulled up. Excitement bubbled in my stomach at seeing her again. I hadn't seen her very often this summer, seeing as it had just begun two and a half weeks ago. I leaped out of the car, grabbed some groceries and headed into the house. Alice was already inside, up in my room.

"Alice." I barely had to raise my voice and she appeared by my side in the kitchen.

"Oh here, I'll do that." She grabbed my groceries and quickly put them all away before my mom even got inside.

"Sometimes I think I would be friends with you _just_ because of that special little ability." I smirked at her and she crinkled her nose back at me.

"You should watch out, Elena. I could snap your neck with my _little_ ability." I laughed despite the fact that she spoke the truth. I trusted Alice with my life implicitly.

"Oh hello Alice. I didn't see you outside." My mom ambled into the kitchen with the remaining grocery bags hanging from her arms. Alice and I grabbed them from her and put them away. Alice slowed herself down to a near human speed so she wouldn't scare my mom.

"Hello Mrs. Rousseau. Elena let me in pretty quick." Alice smiled and my mom seemed a bit stunned by her pixie-like beauty. I couldn't lie and say that I wasn't jealous of vampire's looks. They were all so perfect and put together.

I tugged on the ends of my long brown, nearly black, hair. I'd slept on it after I showered last night, resulting in unkempt waves. This morning I hadn't even thought about it, but now I was horrified with myself for going out in public without fixing it.

I pointed at my hair to Alice and motioned for us to go upstairs. My mom started walking around the kitchen looking for something, so we were able to make our escape.

"Can I do anything to it?" Alice asked as I reached the top of the stairs. She was already in my bedroom.

"I wouldn't say _anything_ because I know what you're capable of." I chuckled, pushing open the door to my room and seeing her sitting on my bed. She sighed dramatically and stood up. I sat dutifully in my chair in front of my mirror so that she could work with my hair.

"Oh Elena, you are so much easier to work with than Bella. She puts up a fight every time I offer to do something for her." Alice's fingers ran through my hair, pulling out the tangles near the end as I smiled. Bella hated fashion and make-up.

"You're welcome to be my stylist for life."  
"Good because you're stuck with me." Alice began to braid my hair with her nimble little fingers. I watched her work in the mirror and listened to her regale me of stories of her family.

"So Jasper refused to help me unless Edward would too and you _know_ how Edward is with these kind of things. He just moans and groans even though he always ends up doing what I want anyways." I let myself zone out of Alice's mindless chatter and thought of the weird feeling I got at the restaurant.

"Hey Alice. You'd know if anything weird was going to happen to me soon, right? Like if I was going to meet anyone?" I asked, interrupting her speech. She paused in her ministrations and gazed at me in the mirror.

"What do you mean?" She asked suspiciously, like I was going to do something to mess with her visions.

"I don't really mean anything, but I got this weird feeling today. It was like someone was watching me and my mom said she saw someone staring at me. I was just curious as to who it was."

Alice's eyes glazed over. I held my breath, waiting patiently for her to come back to the present.

"I don't see anything except you going shopping with me and letting me buy you some fabulous clothes." Alice grinned at me cheekily and I shrugged my shoulders. It was useless arguing with Alice about buying things. She would buy it in the end anyways.

She went back to pulling and organizing my hair as I lost myself in the mirror. My reflection wasn't horrible to look at. When I was younger I went through a phase where I hated the way I looked. My teeth had braces, I was a little pudgy, and I had acne. I wished and wished to be beautiful like all the popular girls at my school. Eventually I burst out of the awkward phase and turned out to be pretty okay looking. I felt as if my wishing hadn't been in vain and since then I tried not to judge my appearance too much. I wasn't beautiful, or anything near looking like a vampire, but I wasn't ugly. I was ashamed of myself for being so self-centered when I was younger. But I was twelve, it's hard not to wish to be something different at such a young age.

Alice stood back from the chair, looking over her work. She had taken my hair and braided it loosely, so that it hung over my right shoulder. I pushed my bangs to the side of my eyes to get the full effect.

"Awesome, as usual." I grinned at her and stood up.

We made our way downstairs and said goodbye to my mom who was cleaning the kitchen while listening to country music.

"So, Lena, tell me. How are you?" Alice was snapping her seat belt as I climbed into her passenger seat. I waited until I got settled before I answered her.

"Honestly, not very good. I miss him everyday. It's hard. I guess I'm just trying not to think about it." I said honestly, knowing Alice would be the last to judge me. She nodded her head, knowingly, as she began the drive to Port Angeles. They didn't have a huge selection there, but we'd have to make do with it.

"I talked to him yesterday." I said softly. I didn't have to look at her to know she was staring me down.

"Shouldn't you focus on the road." I laughed awkwardly, hoping to avoid the huge load of questions that I knew she was about to start throwing my way.

"Elena, when did you talk to him? I thought we agreed you didn't need to talk to him or see him any time soon. You'll never get over him if you keep thinking about him!" She ranted. Seeing my wide-eyed face, she paused and took a moment to compose herself.

"And you know that I can focus on at least eight things at a time. I'm a vampire." She smirked at me and then turned her gaze back to the road in front of us.

"He texted me." I spoke again, but this time she kept her eyes on the road. I took her silence as a cue to continue.

"So I got really mad for a second and I called him. Then I panicked and I hung up." Alice snorted and I rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, he said some really weird things after he called me back. I don't even know why I answered. But, he told me that he didn't want _me_ to end things. What does that mean, Alice? I've been over it and over it in my head and I can't figure it out." I felt exasperated as I retold her everything that had happened the night before.

"He told you that?" She sounded angry when she finally responded. After I nodded, she let out a low growl. The Quileutes and the vampires all growled when they were angry and at first it amused me to no end. Now it was just normal.

"The girl he imprinted on, Katy, doesn't live here." I stiffened at her words. I didn't want to know his imprint's name, or anything about her. Jealousy was going to reel it's ugly head. I was staring at Alice's profile, wanting to know why she was telling me this. How was this relevant?

"Alice, I don't know if-"

"I'm trying to explain it to you." Alice huffed, before continuing. "She's not from here. In fact she's leaving Forks tomorrow. She was visiting a sick aunt or something."

"So, what does that mean for Paul?" As much as I didn't like the girl, this could be really bad for Paul. I was trying to look at this situation from a neutral stand-point. It was hard and the thoughts of Paul and this Katy girl were fleeting.

"Well, he doesn't want to follow her. He wants to stay here. He's pretty explosive right now." I frowned, putting my hands over my eyes in frustration.

"What is wrong with him? As much as it hurts me to say this, he should do something about it." Alice smiled weakly at me, nodding her head in assent.

"He's got it stuck in his head that he can avoid it. But he's miserable. He keeps bursting into his wolf form randomly."

I tried to ignore the speedometer going higher and higher as we got further away from Forks. Alice loved to speed.

"Oh relax, I'd see if we crashed." She giggled at my tensed body.

"So he doesn't think that we're over?" I asked the million dollar question and Alice nodded her head, albeit hesitantly.

We sat in silence again as I mulled things over. Paul didn't think we should break up. He was obviously delusional. His imprint had made him gone crazy. I couldn't date someone who was going to constantly be thinking of someone else. He couldn't still love me if he wanted to love Katy. Just hearing her name and imagining her face made me a little nauseous. The worst part of it was that I was sure she was a cool girl. I didn't want to not like her.

"He said no one let him come see me." I remembered suddenly, wondering who exactly wasn't letting him come see me. I knew I would hear my parents downstairs talking to him. All three of them talked loudly and I would recognize his voice anywhere.

"Well he's in a very unstable state and everyone knows how you two argue." Alice raised a brow at me, making my cheeks flush. I didn't know whether to be thankful or a little annoyed.

"We were going to let him talk to you at some point. We just thought it'd be better if he waited a little longer than he wanted." That made me feel a bit better, even though I was still confused.

"Why couldn't he have imprinted on me, Alice? I hate this." I sighed, so frustrated with the turn of events.

"I know, but everything happens for a reason. I've been alive long enough to know that." Alice squeezed my hand comfortingly and I realized we were already in Port Angeles.

"I know. I just feel so stupid." I sighed. Alice was so easy to talk to and she always made me feel better after I unloaded on her.

"Okay, I'm ready to shop now that we've gotten all this emotional stuff out of the way." I grinned at her halfheartedly and she giggled excitedly.

We spent the next two hours in and out of random boutiques. I bought myself a little black dress that flaunted my curves. Alice convinced me to get it even though I had no occasion to wear it for.

"You're a friend of the Cullens. That is your occasion." She'd told me- her face completely stoic.

Alice, of course, bought a ton of random things. She was the designated buyer for her whole family except for Esme and Rosalie. They enjoyed shopping almost as much as Alice, but they didn't go as often.

Alice had kept a smile on my face the entire time we'd been shopping. There really is nothing better after a somewhat break-up than shopping with a best friend.

"See, you're not doing so bad. I told you that you'd feel better eventually." Alice poked me with her index finger. I flinched, hopping away from her.

"Yeah, it only took me a week to get out of my bed." I said sarcastically, ignoring the blunt roll of her eyes.

"A week isn't that long. Plus you're going to be feeling a lot better soon. I guarantee it. By the end of the summer you'll probably be good as new."

"That's two and a half months from now! And you said probably! Does that mean you don't know?" Alice never used the words 'probably', 'maybe', or anything of that nature if she could help it. She thrived on knowing almost everything.

"I don't know exactly. But I can guess." She pouted at me as I tried not to laugh.

The drive back to Port Angles was filled with random chatter. I was getting sleepy, but I was glad I actually got out of the house today. As we pulled into my neighborhood, Alice slammed on the brakes, almost making me fly forward.

"What the hell, Alice?" I blinked, wide-eyed, at my chauffeur. She put the car in reverse immediately, ignoring my astonished stares. Finally when we were heading the opposite direction she deemed herself ready to answer me. Taking a deep breath, that she probably didn't even need, Alice looked over at me.

"Paul's at your house."

* * *

Hope to get another chapter or two out this week.

-A Lesson Before Dying


	4. Butterfly

Sorry for the long wait! I've had so much to do the past two weeks. Finals start next week so I will hopefully get the next update for A Place of Healing out by then. Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

I do not own any twilight characters or anything you recognize from Twilight. I also don't own Mason Jennings or his lyrics. :P

**Chapter 4**

"What do you mean 'Paul's at your house'?" I quoted Alice, holding on tightly to my seat. I wasn't quite sure why we were heading the opposite direction from my house. She could have just stopped the car.

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'?" Alice squealed, whipping her head around to look at me with annoyance in her eyes. "Elena- he broke your heart and he's at _your_ house! He's being ridiculous!" She was getting really fired up and I wasn't sure how to calm her down. Instead I gulped, and held on to my seat a little bit tighter. When vampires get riled up they tend to drive really fast.

"Well, Alice, I'm sure he's being ridiculous. What I'm not sure about is why we're driving over 100 miles per hour. I'm not invincible, you know." I tried to keep my voice even as I closed my eyes. It was easier to pretend we were on a roller coaster instead of in a car. I felt the car slow a bit and I let my eyes open once again.

"I'm sorry, Lena, I forget you're not one of us sometimes. Which is kind of silly seeing as I can smell human on you constantly." Alice giggled as I sighed dramatically. Sometimes I wished I was a vampire- to stay young and beautiful forever. But then I remembered they drank blood and I decided I would be fine if I stayed human. Immortality is so overrated.

"Please take me back, Alice. I'm a big girl. I'm not going to tell him everything's fine and that we can be together again- you have to know that." This time I sighed for real. I was so tired of being isolated. I wanted to get all of this drama over with so that I could just sulk by myself for a while.

"But, Elena-"

"Please, Alice." I wasn't above begging her to take me back home. I wanted to know what Paul had to say and honestly I wanted to tell him how big of an idiot he was being.

"Fine. But for the record, I am not approving this. So when you get upset and I have to come comfort you, I will tell you 'I told you so'." Alice began to her typical rant and I smiled softly to myself. The ride back to my house seemed like the longest ride ever. I was getting really anxious the closer we got. I hadn't seen Paul in person since he'd seen _her_.

"It'll be fine, Elena. Be strong. Don't fall for his charms and _remember_ what I told you before." She raised a brow at me and I nodded in response. I knew she was talking about her ominous statement from right after the imprint happened.

"_You can't change an imprint."_

As we pulled up to my house, I didn't see Paul's car anywhere. That meant he must have come in wolf form. I frowned instantly at this thought. He knew what I thought of his abs; he was trying to catch me off guard.

"Stupid mutt." I murmured Alice's favorite, loving, insult for the pack. She giggled at my word usage as she put the car in park.

"If he does anything-_anything-_ you just yell my name and I'll be there." Alice said this very seriously and I couldn't help but laugh a bit, despite the nerves piling in my stomach.

"I will. Thanks Alice. You're the best." I patted her hand, grabbed my shopping bag and hopped out of the car.

I wasn't sure where my parents were, but I noticed their cars weren't in the driveway. Paul and I would get to fight in privacy.

After one last wave to Alice, I opened my front door. Paul would be outside in the backyard, waiting for me. I dropped my bag and purse on the kitchen table and slowly made my way to the back door. I paused momentarily by the door, biting my lip in contemplation. Did I really want to talk to Paul? I was feeling more stable than I had in the past week, so that was good.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open quickly before I could change my mind.

He was standing in the middle of our backyard, facing the forest. He wasn't wearing a shirt. I tried to swallow the feeling of unease that rose in my throat at seeing him again.

He turned around after hearing the door and gazed at me from about twenty feet away. I wasn't sure how I looked to him. He knew me better than anyone.

"Lena." His voice sounded so breathy, like he wasn't sure it was me in front of him.

"Paul." His name on my lips sounded so clipped. Guilt rose at the nasty feeling of satisfaction that I got from the slightly disappointed look on his face. How dare he think I would be excited that he would be here.

"What are you doing here?" I asked after a moment of silence. My arms folded themselves across my chest as I leaned against my door frame. It seemed as if I was being casual, but in reality I needed something to help keep me from falling over.

"I came to see you, obviously. You hung up on me." He was accusing me with his eyes.

"You were saying things I didn't want to hear."

"What? That I love you? You don't want to hear that anymore?" He asked, walking towards me. I instinctively took a step back and he stopped in his tracks.

"Paul- you don't love me anymore. So, no, I don't want to hear that. It hurts." I was trying to keep my cool and so far it was working. My stance was defensive, but my voice was still soft.

"Of course I still love you, Lena. I've loved you for two years." He moved towards me again and this time I stayed put. I watched him as he appeared right in front of me, shirtless and all.

"You're killing me." I whispered, keeping my eyes above his shoulders. He smirked, bringing one of his hands to my face.

"Please, please, don't touch me. Paul, you have someone else now. Why can't you just leave me alone to heal?" I asked, albeit a little desperately. His close proximity was driving my emotions a little crazy.

"That _someone_ isn't even here, Lena. She left. Yes, I imprinted on someone, and yes, I think about her all the time. But, Lena, I still think about you all the time too. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to because you're the only person I want to talk to- but you don't even want to talk to me!"

I stared, wide-eyed, at the man before me. I didn't know this side of Paul. He was broken and confused. The worst part was that we were both broken, so I couldn't even help him.

"Paul... I don't know what to tell you. But, I can't be your friend right now as much as I want to be." I felt my lips start to quiver. "I want to so bad." I whispered, touching my hand to his cheek. He looked down at me intently, as though trying to see if I was telling the truth.

"I just... I can't be around you when I know you're thinking about some other girl-" He tried to interrupt, but I raised my hand to keep him quiet. "-as much as you try to deny it, you will be thinking about her. We both know that. Paul, as much as this kills me- you should try and contact her. She's your soul-mate. I'm just your ex-girlfriend now." The bitterness in my voice appeared in my last words. "You're going to drive yourself crazy if you don't."

I took a deep breath and stepped back away from him.

"I think you should leave now." I could feel tears leaping to my eyes and I didn't want him to see me cry.

"Lena..." He trailed off, seeing me so upset. "You'll never be just my ex-girlfriend. I hope you know that."

I laughed awkwardly, trying to hold in a sob.

"Thanks." I bit my lip and took another step backwards so I was fully inside the house. I could feel Paul's gaze on my retreating form.

"We'll talk sometime, right? This isn't goodbye forever.." Paul said quietly as I stared at the floor.

"No, this isn't forever. Just for right now."

"Goodbye, Elena."

"Bye Paul." I shut the door, blocking out him and his sad voice.

I leaned up against the closed door and slid down slowly. As I reached the floor, tears began to cloud my vision.

I was crying still when my parents came home thirty minutes later. Thankfully the desperate sobs and dry heaving had stopped and all that was left were soundless tears.

My mom rushed to me as soon as she walked in and my dad stood still in the doorway.

"Baby, you can't keep doing this." She sat next to me, pulling me into her side. I nodded my head, knowing she was right. But I also knew that this was the last time I was going to cry over Paul no matter what. I wasn't going to waste any more tears on the man who stole two years of my life.

"Okay, Lena. I'm going to get my shotgun and you're going to point me in the right direction." My dad's gruff voice sounded from the kitchen and I choked on a laugh. My cheeks were red from embarrassment and amusement as my dad reappeared in the hallway.

"You're never dating again, either." He said seriously, eyeing me down on the floor.

"Don't worry, Daddy. I don't ever want to date again." And at that moment I really felt like that was true.

The next couple of days were hard, but I was able to function somewhat normally. I helped my mom out with errands and chores. I even worked a bit for my dad at the restaurant. I'm a pro at waitressing even though I despise it most of the time.

I pulled up to my dad's restaurant and hopped out of my car, humming the song that was just playing. I told him I would come help out for a little. In Forks the restaurant was never really busy unless it was a holiday. I kind of liked that fact because the restaurant was a relaxing place to work when it wasn't busy.

"Hey dad." I waved to him as he chatted with a customer. I walked back to his office to dump my purse, keeping only my ipod with me. I planned on mostly just cleaning, since there weren't very many customers.

In Forks the social etiquette was very different from the big city. I could dress in my normal clothes, talk normally, and no one would care. They all knew me anyways.

I slipped my earbuds in my ears and immediately Mason Jennings' deep voice resonated within my ear drums. I grabbed a rag and a bottle of cleaner from the back of the restaurant and got busy working on the tables.

After about an hour, I moved on to the bar.

I didn't realize how loud my humming was until I felt eyes on me. My cheeks flushed immediately, as I looked up.

"What're you singing?" I didn't have words to respond to the man in front of me. He looked oddly familiar, but different at the same time. It was obvious, to me at least, that he was a Quileute. The tan skin and dark hair were the giveaways. He was tall, maybe a couple inches taller than Paul who was around six feet.

Eventually I found my voice after I stopped ogling my customer.

"Mason Jennings." I didn't mean for my answer to come off so clipped, like I didn't want to talk to him. But he was making it hard to speak by the way he was staring at me.

"I've never heard of him." He spoke again and I tried to regain my composure. His light brown eyes were keeping constant eye contact with mine. It was honestly making me a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, Embry!" My dad's loud, deep voice startled me out of our staring contest. I jerked my neck and looked at my dad who was grinning at the man in front of me.

"Can't resist our fine dining, can you?" He asked, shaking Embry's hand. I'd heard that name before but I wasn't sure from who or what it was about.

"I really can't, sir. Best in Forks." I wanted to tell him that he was being a suck-up. My dad loved suck-ups.

"This is my daughter, Elena. Have you two met?" My dad asked, looking at me with raised eyebrows. I knew what he was thinking. My dad always gave me a hard time around men, no matter if I was interested in them or not. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and forced a smile back at him.

"No, we haven't met." I answered, shifting my gaze back to Embry. "Nice to meet you. I would shake your hand but I've been cleaning.." I smiled awkwardly and moved away as my dad struck up a conversation with him. As I turned my back to them, I made an exaggerated frustrated face.

I went back to cleaning and once I finished I decided to get something to eat. I pleaded with our cook, Benny, to make me some pancakes and he finally relented. He mentioned something about me having the worst eating habits, but I selectively ignored him and just flashed him my biggest smile.

I slumped into a chair by the bar, tucking my ipod back into my purse.

"Butterfly, you mess me up, you make my heart double beat and..." I sung quietly to myself. The song had been stuck in my head since I arrived at the restaurant.

"Is that by Mason Jennings?" I jolted forwards, startled by the voice next to me. I hadn't noticed that Embry was sitting there. If I had, I probably would have sat somewhere else entirely.

I smiled weakly and nodded, hoping that if I didn't speak he would stop talking to me. Don't get me wrong- Embry was good looking and seemed nice. But I didn't really want to talk to another cute, nice, Quileute anytime soon.

He cleared his throat awkwardly from beside me and I smirked to myself. At least I wasn't the only one who wasn't sure how to react in this situation.

"So.. you home for the summer?" I made a noise of assent and glanced in his direction. He had an empty plate in front of him and his wallet out, ready to pay.

I noticed my dad out of the corner of my eye and saw him gesture to Embry as if telling me to play nice. I turned back to Embry, deciding to play along for my father.

"What about you?" I asked, trying to sound interested. In my mind I knew I was acting like a brat somewhat. But, Quileutes brought up memories I was trying to avoid.

"Yeah. I finished college, so now I'm trying to decide what to do with my life." This statement didn't surprise me. He looked like he could be twenty-five, like Paul. That's when I remembered how I knew Embry's name. He and Paul were friends.

"Do you know Paul?" I asked before I realized that I didn't want to talk about it.

He looked surprised that I brought up Paul and I tried to look uninterested again.

"Yeah... you know Paul?"

"Yep." I felt like an idiot.

"That's cool... we're old friends. I've just started hanging out with him again." I nodded, listening to his words intently.

"I thought I'd heard your name before." I mentioned, trying to change the subject before he asked how I knew Paul.

"Do you work here a lot? I haven't seen you very much." He said this like he'd seen me before, but I definitely don't remember seeing his face.

"Um.. sometimes. When I'm bored or my dad needs me to."

Benny pranced out of the kitchen like he was Emeril himself, carrying my plate of pancakes and eggs.

"Bacon! You didn't have to give me bacon too. You outdid yourself." I grinned, genuinely happy for the first time since I arrived.

"Oh well, I just like you or something. You're welcome by the way." He winked at me and headed back to the kitchen. I quickly grabbed a fork and dug into my food, hungrily. I had completely forgotten that Embry was next to me until noticed movement out of the corner of my eye.

"Pancakes for dinner?" He asked, smiling slightly at my stuffed face.

"I love breakfast for dinner." I gushed, swallowing my food quickly before I spoke.

"Interesting."

"Am I?" I grinned at him, before stuffing another huge bite into my mouth.

"You are indeed."

We made small talk for a while until I finished my meal. Embry turned out to be pretty nice and he actually made me laugh once or twice, which was surprising. I hadn't laughed very much in the past couple weeks.

"So why do you eat here so much? You know my father. You can't cook?" I asked in a teasing tone. I moved on to eating my bacon. I was glad that I wasn't trying to impress him or else I wouldn't have been able to eat like I normally do. I tend to be a bit messy.

"Ah, well.. I came here once and saw this girl." I blinked, staring at his reddening cheeks. "You're blushing!" I accused with a small giggle. I took another bite of bacon to let him continue speaking.

"Anyways, I just wanted to come here so I might see her again. Plus your dad has great food and he's enjoyable company." I nodded, squinting at him.

"You're a suck-up and my dad loves suck-ups." I pointed my bacon at him, accusation covering my words.

"You're probably out for free food, hm?" I asked, laughing at the look on his face.

"I would never." He grinned.

"Well Embry, it was nice to meet you and talk to you." I stood up from my stool, throwing my purse over my shoulder. "But I told my mom I'd help her for dinner so I have to get going." I smiled at him, sincerely happy to have talked to him.

Embry nodded, standing too. I watched as he put some money down by his plate.

"After you." He gestured to the door and I laughed walking ahead of him

Somehow he appeared beside me, holding the door open for me.

"What a gentleman. We could use more of you in Forks." I smiled.

"See you around, Elena."

"Bye Embry." I hopped into my car and waved to him as he got into his truck.

Suddenly I was stuck in my seat by a revelation.

Was I the girl he was talking about? As soon as the thought came it went.

"No.. he would've said something." I let this thought appease me as I began the drive home.

-A Lesson Before Dying


End file.
